Tomorrow will mark six weeks since I gave birth to my son, Cullen. It is weird for me to say that "I gave birth" because I did not push him out of my body the natural way. But the truth is, I did give birth to him. Vaginal deliveries are hard, yes, but so are c-sections. I feel that so many people try to diminish a woman's birth experience if she had a c-section. It would be nice if every baby could be delivered safely by vaginal birth, but that is not the way life is. There are actually people out there on documentaries saying that mothers who give birth by c-section do not have the correct cocktail of hormones in their body to love their baby. What makes it even worse is I have spoken to people who actually believe it.
Yes, I do feel betrayed by my body because I had to have a surgical birth and I am working through the process of forgiving myself... but that is not the end of the story. I love my baby, I LOVE my baby, I LOVE MY BABY! I loved my baby before he was born. I loved my baby before he was conceived. I love him so much that when my doctor told me that it was possible for him to be hurt or killed in delivery, I allowed myself to be cut open in a very unnatural way to deliver him.
In my heart of hearts, I believe that my doctor and I acted in my baby's best interest. It was not a delivery of convenience. I am not "too posh to push" as they put it in the documentary
The Business of Being Born. Who in their right mind would choose to have major abdominal surgery on the day they get a baby?
I am sick of trying to prove to others that my c-section was the right choice. I have a healthy baby who survived the birth with no broken bones because I of the decision that I made. I survived the delivery because of my decision. I set my "fantasy birth" aside to ensure that me and my baby were safe.
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C-sections are hard on your body and your mind. You can have a healthy baby and still be upset about the delivery and recovery process. I think the emotional recovery from my c-section would have been easier had I known what to expect. I spent hours online and in childbirthing class learning about the delivery and recovery process of a vaginal birth, but only a few minutes learning about c-sections. I don't want it to be like that for my friends and family who have a c-section. Below are a couple of helpful articles to read after, or before if possible, a c-section.
Recovering From a Cesarean Delivery
http://www.babycenter.com/0_recovering-from-a-cesarean-delivery_221.bc?page=1
Emotional Recovery From a Cesarean
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/CSANDVBAC/csemotionalrecov.htm
C-Section Recovery is another helpful resource
http://www.csectionrecovery.com/
To my friends and family,
Please call me if you find out that you will be having a cesarean birth. I will talk to you about what happened to me and how I felt about it. Some of my friends have recently shared their experiences with me and it made me feel so much better.
