Thursday, May 22, 2008

Fun in the Sun

Grant took a business trip to Corpus Christi and I went with him this past week. We decided to rent an efficiency condo out on the island in Port Aransas. It was great! In the evenings when Grant was done working we did a few things like riding the ferry, 4-wheeling down the beach, shopping, and visiting the Texas State Aquarium.

On the ferry, we spotted dolphins swimming along side of us! You should know that dolphins are pretty much my favorite thing ever! I even had a dream while we were on the trip that I got to swimming with the dolphins.

While we were on the beach, we saw a lot of junk that was brought in by the tide, including lots of plastic jugs, bags ands bags of what we guessed is grain, clothes, some plastic, 50 gallon barrels, and a few large, rusty barrels, I'm guessing they were 500 gallon barrels....aka ginormous barrels. We also saw lots of wildlife while were out there too. There were lots and lots and lots and lots of birds, including about 100 pelicans. As were we driving, we decided to stop when we noticed the "Sea Turtle Patrol" stopped and digging in the sand. They had found a sea turtle nest and were collecting the eggs in styrofoam ice chests. That was exciting!

On the last day of the trip, we visited the Texas State Aquarium. I go there a lot. I love all of the marine animals.

Here are some pictures from our trip:

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Zomcon saved my marriage!

Despite my best efforts my wife has joined the ranks of the UNDEAD!
It all began when my parents [who are old] came down to visit for my birthday. All was well at first. We were all sitting around watching a movie called "FIDO" when my lovely mother [who is old] became filled with excited laughter while watching the film. I remember being somewhat concerned as I watched her [in her old age] role around on the floor with glee giggling! And that's when she died! Quickly I ran to her side, knelt down and tried to revive her. Before long the color escaped from my [old] mothers face and I began to realize that I had lost her! I turned away sobbing and my father [who is also old and very close to death himself] was calling 911!
"yes she was laughing and she just...QUIT" he said "I don't know what could have happened... The movie wasn't that good... no... its just... that it has a very silly plot you see and.... OH! Hang On!... she is sitting up now. I think every thing is fine now... sorry I bothered you... you too by by!"
I whirled around to see my mother [Looking older than ever] sitting up with a strange look in her eyes. Thant's when I realized from my rigorous training that the pupils of her eyes had turned RED an obvious sign of ZOMBIEFICATION! I jumped up and yelled to my [old] father.
"go get my new gun!... The classic mussel loading cap-lock that I got for my birthday"
while he scrambled to the guest room I grabbed Amanda in one arm and a chair with another and poked it at my undead mother trying to keep her at bay! But, I wasn't strong enough for her new found supernatural strength! despite all my poking and screaming she grabbed Amanda by the pinkie finger and bit her thumb! Just then... when it looked like all was lost a loud explosion filled the house and my mother turned her attention to my day [He's old] standing in the doorway with a smoking rifle. I took advantage of the situation grabbed Amanda and RAN! just as we were leaving the house I glanced back to see my father [that's right.... getting older by the minuet] being bitten by my Zombie mom who had big bullet hole in her side!

Amanda and I were half way to the hospital when she died and by the time I finished duct tapping her to the hospital gurney she turned. By the time we were in the emergency room she was a full fledged ZOMBIE! Although, all was not lost! The doctor at the ER explained to me that there was a new treatment from a company called "Zomcon" for those who were recently "Undeaded". I told the Doctor to preform the procedure [which strangely, was covered by my health plan] with out delay! To my surprise soon my wife was back at my side. We can live life much as we did before! Of corse she has to take her Prosaic and is no longer "Kidsafe Approved" at church. But her teachers say that she has become a much better student and even though she is now green she is still my love machine!

Grant Maloney
Zombie LOVER